some entertaining prose

[Kragen Sitaker]

Forwarded to me by the czhang23 mentioned at the bottom.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: TechnoBabel: Night Before Xmas
Date: Fri, 1 Dec 2000 13:28:40 -0800
From: "LeoMoser(Acadon@Acadon.com)" <acadon@ACADON.COM>
Reply-To: Constructed Languages List <CONLANG@LISTSERV.BROWN.EDU>
To: CONLANG@LISTSERV.BROWN.EDU


The occasion was the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the =
annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout the perimeters of the locus of =
residence occuped by yours truly, kinetic activity was nowhere in evidence =
among the biological population, including that species of domestic rodent =
denoted in zoological nomenclature as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulousl=
y suspended from the forward margin of the hearth-site, pursuant to anticip=
atory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthr=
opist among whose folkloric appellation includes the honorific title of St.=
 Nicholas.=20


The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective dormat=
ive accommodations, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of=
 variegated fructose confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrum=
s. This observer and conjugal partner, attired in respective nocturnal cran=
ial coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal dark=
ness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the residential site ther=
e ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that he felt compelled to arise w=
ith alacrity from the place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the p=
recise source thereof.=20
Hastening to the casement, your observer forthwith opened the barriers prev=
iously secluding a fenestration, noting without that the lunar brilliance, =
reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, m=
ight be observed to rival the luminosity of the solar meridian itself - thu=
s permitting incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a miniature airbo=
rne runnered-conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus Ra=
ngifer, piloted by a minuscule, geriatric chauffeur so ebullient and lissom=
 that it became instantly apparent that he was indeed the anticipated nocti=
vicant caller.=20


With an ungulate motive power travelling at what may possibly have been mor=
e vertiginous velocity than aquiline predators, he vociferated loudly, expe=
lled breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed each of the o=
ctet by his/her respective cognomen - "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." et alia -=
 guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of the abode, through which s=
tructure your observer could readily distinguish the concatenations of each=
 of 32 cloven pedal extremities.=20


As your humble observer retracted his cranium from its erstwhile location, =
and was performing a 180-degree pivot, the distinguished visitant achieved =
-- with utmost celerity and utilizing a downward saltation - entry via the =
smoke ventilation passage. He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by a=
n ebony-like residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels. His resemblanc=
e to a street vendor could be attributed largely to the plethora of assorte=
d playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.=20
His optical orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his subm=
axillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of an engaging amiability.=
 The capillaries of his malar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged =
with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating=
 the coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the drupe of =
Prunus avium. =A0His amusing sub- and supralabials resembled a common loop =
knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabul=
ar and columnar crystals of frozen water.=20


Clenched firmly between his incisors was a nicotine imput device whose grey=
 fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a d=
ecorative seasonal circlet of Aquifoliaceae. His visage was wider than it w=
as high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region=
 undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical con=
tainer. He was, in summary, an obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the opti=
cal perception of whom rendered this observer visibly frolicsome -- despite=
 every effort to refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevat=
ing one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side, he indicated tha=
t trepidation was groundless.=20
Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementione=
d appended hosiery with various articles of merchandise extracted from his =
aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle. Upon compl=
etion of this enterprise, he executed an abrupt about- face, placed a singl=
e manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined hi=
s cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith effected his =
egress by renegotiating =A0the smoke ventilation passage. He then propelled=
 himself in a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsio=
n of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds, =
and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly among=
 the seed-bearing portions of botanic species such as Onopodon. But your hu=
mble observer overheard the parting exclamation of the aforementioned, audi=
ble immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of immediate vi=
sibility:=20

 =A0 =A0 =A0"Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to=20
 =A0 =A0 =A0 that self-same assemblage, my sincerest wishes for a=20
 =A0 =A0 =A0 salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable=20
 =A0 =A0 =A0 remainder of the current nocturnal cycle."

(From many sources.)
--
email:
    czhang23@netscape.net
    fengxing-czhang@excite.com
AIM: czhang23
voicemail: (510) 859-3988 ext. 9679