Nastiest flame I've ever seen
Kragen Sitaker
kragen@pobox.com
Tue, 28 Sep 1999 14:29:56 -0400 (EDT)
This takes the cake. I have never *seen* such venom on Usenet, or
anywhere else, before now. Be careful -- if you are not used to such
things, this post may make it hard for you to sleep tonight.
Thus follows two pages of insults, from which any one sentence is
probably a nastier insult than most of us hear in a year.
I guess you can tell I don't frequent comp.sys.mac.advocacy much.
--
<kragen@pobox.com> Kragen Sitaker <http://www.pobox.com/~kragen/>
Tue Sep 28 1999
43 days until the Internet stock bubble bursts on Monday, 1999-11-08.
<URL:http://www.pobox.com/~kragen/bubble.html>
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Date: Mon, 23 Aug 1999 01:33:01 +0000
From: "Wincrap" <wincrap@aol.com>
Newsgroups: comp.sys.mac.advocacy
Subject: Re: Apple Sues eMachines!
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In article <7pqio6$9at$1@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>, ioahulk@hotmail.com
(IOAHulk) wrote:
<snip>
>
>You are obviously a retarded asshole and unfortunately I don't think it was
>your choice, in fact it was more than likely caused by a failed abortion prior
>to your unfortunate birth.
>
John, you are a vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic?
You Wintroll worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you
couldn't pour
piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A
Wintroll sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer on the lips
than be
seen with you. You are a fiend and a sniveling, back-boneless coward, and
you have bad
breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved.
I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you
especially
your Mac hatred. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid
chromosomally
aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum. And I
wish you would
go away from CSMA.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a
weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a
revulsion, a putrefaction, a big suck on a sour lemon with a lime twist.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world.
An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the
puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in
regret for what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as
you. You give computers a very sad connotation. You are a monster, an ogre,
a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You and Windows have all
the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. Mac users laugh at you.
You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, a
ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one.
Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to
impress us with your Windows insight. The evidence that you are a
nincompoop
will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more
rapidly.
You snail-skulled little twit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its
beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly
briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your
ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own
trite, foolish beliefs
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty
and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.
Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. Your hand
even refuses autoerotism. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for
attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a Windows user.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of
unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have at CSMA? What fantasy do you hold
that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight
than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for
the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease,
you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient
in all that lends character. You and Winows have the personality of
wallpaper.
You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source
of
all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the
stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are
trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that
even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect
can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on the warm side
of Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire
galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a Wintroll.
Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid.
Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of
stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as
to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on.
This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me
again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your
ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant Windows trivia,
or any of the rest of your drivel.
The only thing worse than your Windows logic is your manners. I have
snipped
away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say
anything.
Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really,
stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly
effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write,
spell, count, and learn the Mac you will have more success. True, these are
rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that
everyone
has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are
"challenged"
persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known,
that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just
wouldn't have been "right." Sort of like parking in a handicapped space.
I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem
to be placing such a demand on you (like passing gas, for instance).
In short, if I traded you for shit, I would lose the container I brought you
in. Otherwise, have a good day and keep enjoying your pitiful Windows world.